One of the most effective ways to grow your community of followers and build your business is by becoming a Connector. Something that I hear quite often is “Gail knows everyone!”. Surprising statement, especially considering I am an introvert. I credit that to a gift I got from my Mother.

I watched my Mom religiously send out countless birthday, get well, thank you and encouragement cards to family, friends, neighbors and acquaintances, and she mailed each card so that they arrived on their birthday or just when they needed to feel loved and appreciated. I heard her recommend the best butcher or hairdresser or recipe or product to everyone she knew. She wanted everyone to benefit from a good thing that she had found. The key was that her connections came from her giving heart.

It isn’t unusual to be in the grocery store with her, when one of her friends will come up to her, giving her a hug and tell me, “I just love your Mom!” And I answer, “So do I!” Being a Connector has been modeled to me all my life.

Leadership Expert, John Maxwell, in his book, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect” lists 5 qualities that assist you in connecting with others better:
1) Appreciation allows you to see the differences in people and considers them not only interesting, but also important.

2) Sensitivity to others’ feelings and being able to quickly adjust to the mood of others.

3) Consistency in always being “real”, not phony. It shows who you really are…be authentic.

4) Security with yourself, so that you don’t have to be the “top dog”.

5) Humor to be able to laugh at yourself.

In order to connect with people, you need to go where they are. Connectors (good leaders) lead the way (asking questions like, “How can I serve you?”, Who can I connect you with?”, “How can I help you grow your business?”). By doing this, people will see that you put others first, ahead of yourself and your own agenda. It allows them to see how you put the spotlight on others.

Mom recently celebrated her 88th birthday and her home is filled with dozens and dozens of birthday cards. I am so grateful for the example she’s been to me on how to connect genuinely with others. I learned from the best!

If you need help connecting with your tribe or your audience, come and learn how in a safe, supportive, non-competitive community, explore the Engaging Speakers website at

Gail Brown, Founder of Engaging Speakers,

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